Goddamnit
by OnceUponAFlyingPomagranite
Summary: Do not own Star Trek. The funeral of a great man. Canon Character Death.


Goddamnit, McCoy didn't want to be here, didn't want to be the one the say good-bye to the one person he'd thought'd outlive him. _Except perhaps the pointy-eared bastard._ But someone had to say good-bye to Jim Kirk, and apparently he was the best man for the job.

Personally he thought the Vulcan would be a more fitting choice having always been more of a wordsmith than the old doctor, but he had refused, claiming that what people needed right now was something that could touch them emotionally and Spock just couldn't do that. Not now, not ever.

Slugging back the rest of his wine, he squared his shoulders and marched determinedly to the stand, where a microphone was waiting. He hadn't cried yet and he'd be damned if he was going to start in front of all these people, not to mention the millions that would be watching the televised program.

Standing in front of people he was glad to call friends and some people he would have gladly left off the invitation list if it had been up to him, he took a deep cleansing breath and began.

"James Tiberius Kirk, was…_vibrant._ He was alive with energy, constantly moving from one thing to the next, always in search of the next great adventure. I think he finally found it. I never thought I'd live to see this day. He seemed so alive, and so young, especially compared to the cranky old southern raised doctor. I'd always thought he'd outlive everyone. Naïve, I know, especially considering his penchant for trouble and dangerous situations, but he'd always seemed like a force which could not and would not be stopped. Anyone who knew him personally knows that he didn't just seem that way."

McCoy took a deep breath, trying to find the inner-strength to continue.

"I knew Jim for many years. More years than I'm willing to admit to and definitely more than he'd want me mentioning. He always acted like he thought he was invincible, invulnerable. He made others think it too. Made them believe that he wasn't going anywhere. But there were times when he faltered, when he momentarily lapsed in control, and let us see that he was a man, tried and true, and as human as any of us. Except perhaps you Spock."

Pausing for the obligatory chuckle, he braced himself for the next part, the part he'd been dreading._ Saying good-bye._

"He'd lived his entire life both separated and desperately attached to everyone around him; and in the way he attached himself to others, they attached themselves to him. Everyone who really loved him is missing part of themselves now, ever attached to the man behind the hero. So we gather here today to say Goodbye to the man that reached out and touched all of us. The man who wouldn't let us be anything but the best of ourselves and in return was always tried to be his best too. There aren't any words strong enough or big enough to use to say Goodbye to the larger than life man behind the curtain, and so I'll leave it at Goodbye. We'll miss you."

McCoy then promptly left the stage, exited through a back door and burst into tears. Applause followed his abrupt exit but it did nothing to quell his tears. He slumped against the wall and slid to sit against the floor. A creak in the floor boards next to him made him jump and look up, only to see Spock standing above him.

"It was an excellent speech. You accurately conveyed his best characteristics." Then, to McCoy's amazement, Spock sat on the floor next to him.

Suddenly conscious of the fact that he had recently been bawling his eyes out, he wiped them subtly and looked away from Spock.

"What would you know about emotional speeches Spock?"

Spock appeared to hesitate.

"Overall, not enough to write one. I do, however, know enough about Jim Kirk to know that that speech has done him great justice." There was a pause and then.

"Though it was not entirely grammatically correct."

McCoy let out a disbelieving laugh. Only the hobgoblin.

"Well besides me and his brother, I suppose you did know him best Spock. The three of us may be the only ones that ever knew Jim Kirk at his worst, though personally I only thought all the more of him all the more for it. Quite the man, that one. They come along once in a lifetime."

McCoy turned to look at Spock. He was staring blankly across at the wall opposite them.

"I am aware doctor."

McCoy sighed, patted Spock on the shoulder and stood to go.

"Take care Spock. Jim'd kill me if I let you die."

He wandered off down the hall aimlessly, leaving the Vulcan by himself.

"T'hyla," he breathed.

Unnoticed, a single tear fell down his cheek.

"Rest in Peace."

Then he too wandered away, leaving the hallway to continue on with the rest of his life. A life a little bit dimmer and emptier but life none the less.


End file.
